freespiritmusic: (carlos man of love)
Okay, I shouldnt haev made that last post so lets forget that ever happened. I took some time to think about this and I decided to put how I feel into song form. So here goes.
[ the music starts]THE SONG )
[Music stops

There thats how I feel.

[ooc; Yes that is Rise Against' Swing life Away; lets all pretend its Kia. Becuase well god knows Koko cant A. Play a guitar or B. Sing in Steve Bloom tones. <3 Thank you]
freespiritmusic: (Another Emo song)
Sis...Don't use me as a scapegoat. This is just what I wanted to avoid, let my misery rain down to save the loss of the emotion you get from him and me from her. So what if they found better things, thats why its called the blues.

If someones not suffering the lyrics don't match the beat...misery is just another part of life.

On that note, Gren can I see you today?

freespiritmusic: (a mournful past)
...I still cant believe I’m gonna be a father as careless as it may have been, and as fucking scary as it is. I really think I can handle this, Konata keeps speaking of support from others but I don’t count on that. This is my fault. This is her body. Our reasonability.

Gren, Fummei. If you want to get together for one last go I think I will be quitting the band so I can pick up a second job. I gotta a very few months to get things ready for this child

-The list of needs-
A apartment- because we cant keep inconveniencing Sis.
Crib- Cause I don’t want the kid being like is was
Baby toys and crap- A necessity
New Furniture- For said apartment.
New Car- for when I have to give Sis’ back.

Fuck I’m going to be beyond broke.
freespiritmusic: (Another Emo song)
Why did I go to church yesterday? I haven't thought about her this much since it happened. I hope that son of a bitch, his whore and their bastard child had a fucking lovely holiday. I hope he chokes and dies and goes wherever she isn't, son of a bitch doesn't deserve to share her heaven.

Integra, lets go out tonight. I have a free night and it seems Konata's out doing shit so what do you say? I'll play anything you want me too. Also I hope you like the cake. I'm not the best at baking but as the only real female in the house you deserve it.

...I need to go talk to the couch before I really lose my scholership....god I hope I break my leg or something. I just don't feel the old love for baseball anymore... fucking sucks thats how I get to collage instead of my music...I hate humanity sometimes.

...Gren, Fummei let me know when you wanna jam sometime, kay?
freespiritmusic: (you gotta be kidding)
Well that Demyx Kid seems to be looking for me, that cant end well. I really am not cut out for the whole “Band” scene. I don’t even want to be a musician, no one makes it with that for very long. Cant people just play to play? Not everyone will be famous or great. Not everyone will have a nice job, like some movie I saw said we are not beautiful and unique snowflakes, we are not special. I wish I could remember the name of that movie it was kinda cool.

Anyway so I spoke to Integra again, she really can be someone worth talking to. Unlike most rich people she’s not a flat out bitch, Its fun debating with someone who wasn’t born trash. We spoke of a lot of things minor debate about music and woman, I opened up to her about some things I don’t even like talking about. And that is what kept me awake thinking, Why did I do that? Why do I feel I need her and Konata? I have never needed anyone before. I only needed myself and the shitty jobs I had and my guitar to keep myself alive.

Why is it I cant sleep well now without that fan girl home, She didn’t roll in until early in the morning this morning and woke me up by yanking the covers up, it was bloody brilliant. Then she slept in to make it worse, I had to carry her off to her own room. She may sleep beside me nightly but I still don’t know how people handle that namely after my talk with Intgera. I’ve spent today studying and doing the weeks work when not doing the things I have to for work.

Its so quiet here… I cant believe I pulled out my old Cds and found myself pondering messing with the intercom to put some noise through the house… At least I thought better of it.
freespiritmusic: (wall-o-amps)
I've been so unreasonable, slacking off from work when I know that should be my first priority. Keep a roof over my head and myself alive and do this by working and not being a lazy egotistical bastard. Thats Blues, not me. I have people back home waiting for me to come back with a degree or a record deal, and since the latter will never happen. I have spent these lazy weeks after meeting The SKy searching for my song, I still have NOTHING!

I pour my heart into ever note I play yet, I only can do cover songs and put my own style on it....I've never finished a song of my own...I have a great riff ready but no words...So I've been searching and found nothing....

Maybe its time I just go back to work and face that I am working class punk that couldn't hold a real job before Integral. I wonder if I should sell the guitars and just go back and ask her for forgiveness for this stupidity. Sky got me chasing impossible dreams and now I've cut myself from that stupidity and need to set myself back on the right course.

...Konata, care to give me a call later?
freespiritmusic: (natural hair)
Well shit, life's been busy you know. Working for Miss Integral isn't all sunshine and roses but I really like it it gives me time to work on that which I love and still get all I need to do for her done before I go home. Its nice and I enjoy it I never thought I would be happy in a job like I am with this one but somehow I feel like I am betraying my bohemian roots but I need this, I need this stability that I have never had before. Maybe I'm being selfish.

Poor Konata, someone upset her bad shes been moping around all week since she came in from work one day. I don't know what happened and she wont tell me but I am really worried about her I want to pry but its really again not my place...

...I'm leaving for the night, I need to clear my head.
freespiritmusic: (lifes peachy you know?)
This is my real time outside Louisiana, It took a lot of over time a lot of tips and playing corners to get me here. sadly the last bit of money needed came from pawning my amplifier. This all lead to taking a three day bus ride having someone try to steal my Gibson Les Paul and a few fights along the way but I finally made it to Cross City. a place without Blues Dullia

A man at the bus station informed me that the University was out of session until fall classes start thus no dorms yet which really blows you know but he informed me the place to go is the Eternity Cafe, that I could play a few songs there and earn enough cash for a hotel. Well when I showed up it was almost dead empty lack for a woman named Konata. Who has made an living argement with me so I need to start looking for a job today to keep my half of the budget set.

I'm looking forward to what life holds, maybe I can find my song here. I can only hope ya know? gotta take the punches as there thrown.

-Kia Freeborn


freespiritmusic: (Default)
Kia Dullea || Kia Freeborn

March 2009

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